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Don’t Get Around Much Anymore

When Adelia lost her driver’s license, she suffered a seismic shift in her life. At 94, her calendar made mine look anemic. No less than four appointments daily. An active supporter of the L.A. Opera, the L.A. symphony, The Master Chorale. Founder of a successful non profit. She sat on several boards. Her driving privilege was vital.

She stared out the passenger’s window as I drove her home from her driving test. I’d never seen her so furious. Her only comment to me was “Thought I’d die before I lost my license. Guess I got that backwards. I’m going to get to the bottom of this.” The bottom Adelia got to was not the one she expected. At first, friends were happy to drive her to the opera, concerts, doctor appointments, board meetings. It didn’t take long for these friends to ghost her. 

She called late one evening stranded at the Music Center. A friend gave her a ride and even enjoyed the concert with her. Adelia was visiting with other members of the Founder’s Circle when her transportation decided she didn’t want to wait any longer. She left with Adelia’s blessing. “I’ve got my GoGo Granny app. I’ll call them for a ride.” The app didn’t work. She had the choice of trusting a gypsy cab or calling me. Her eyes brimmed with tears when I picked her up. I found her standing at the curb on Grand Ave. She was stooped with age and sorrow. One of the Music Center volunteers stayed by her side until I pulled up. I thanked him and tipped him then helped Adelia into the passenger’s seat. I leaned into the car to assist with her seat belt. She reached up and hugged me. The tears broke loose. “How’d I get to be this age and have no real friends? I’m good enough for them to use my concert tickets but not good enough to wait a few minutes while I talk with friends. How’d this happen?” I had no answer. 

What I witnessed I’d seen often in both the elderly and disabled communities. What Adelia experienced often led down a slippery slope ending in depression, accelerated cognitive decline, mental instability and isolation. Who wants to be saddled with the job of driving around some old or disabled person? Reliance on ride sharing services, limo services and taxis was inconvenient and costly. Access, Dial-A-Ride, Super Shuttle and other services often resulted in multiple stops to pick up and drop off other riders, making scheduling and timely arrival at appointments an anxiety-filled process. 

Many users do a simple cost benefit analysis and determine both the emotional and financial cost too high just to get from point A to point B. This choice can have catastrophic consequences. The loss of community, decreased involvement in lifelong activities, ultimately a self-imposed isolation from the world. I remember Adelia asking me, “Is this how it ends?” I was there for her as much as I could be. But like I said earlier, my calendar of events paled in comparison to hers. In her prime, she did more in a week than I did in a month. God bless her! 

Something had to give. Sadly it was Adelia. Life slowly collapsed around her. Her schedule revolved around her care-givers, the newspapers, television shows and the shrinking list of friends who came to visit. Adelia was losing everything that was part of the life she knew when she could drive. She found little to replace it. The events I share all began about five years ago. Adelia passed in April of 2025. She held on for a good period of time. I watched this vital beautiful woman slowly morph into an invalid. So very difficult to see in anyone, much less someone you love. Sadly, I did not know about The Village then. (I’ve only been a member for about ten months.) Adelia would have loved the community. The intellectual stimulation. The activities. The Village’s calendar of events. Adelia was an avid reader, a supporter of the arts, and a musician. I truly believe that had The Village entered Adelia’s life in 2020, she would still be with us today. 

What The Village offers, beyond a rich buffet of activities and opportunities for involvement and community, is a transportation service to assist members. This service is unique in many ways. It is staffed by members of The Village who have been vetted. Background checks, valid driver licenses and current insurance are all required to have the honor of providing this service. The service is free to all Village members. It is easy to access either through The Village website or by calling The Village office. The best part! The drivers all want to assist you. I am new to the service but the couple of times I have given Village members rides, I find we always reach the destination before we reach the end of our conversation. This is the beauty of community and making new friends. 

Like I said, the service is unique. The Village recently acquired a van. This has further enhanced the Transportation Service of The Village. A staff driver has been added to facilitate this service. The van enhances the existing service adding the ability to transport multiple members for group events. This is a pilot program made possible by the FireAid LA Grant. Arrangements can be made by contacting The Village office. 

These above transportation services, however, are not designed to assist persons with disabilities. Should you need greater assistance, the Village works with a transportation service called Butterfli. Butterfli delivers safe, accessible, on-demand and scheduled transportation 24/7. Their goal is to foster independence while enhancing the lifestyles of individuals with mobility challenges. There is a charge for this service depending on the level of service required. Rides using this service can be arranged by using their website www.gobutterfli.com. If you have difficulty using the website or downloading the app you can call (855) 267-2354 and someone will assist you. 

I remember when I first heard Nat King Cole sing “Don’t Get Around Much Anymore.” I was only about five years old. I couldn’t imagine it had anything to do with aging and mobility. Some dude’s girl had left him. Let’s keep it that way. I will be writing a follow-up article about the positive experiences members have had using the transportation service as well as ways to improve the service. If you have used any of the above services and would like to share your experience, please email me at [email protected].